Really? Is life truly about making a list? When was the list time you made a list? I normally don’t make a list. List and I are not close friends. I consider list as constricting, limiting. I therefore tend to stay away from making a list, but look at me now.
It’s day 2 of the Finding Everyday Inspiration challenges. Don’t ask how many more days, but I sure hope I can reach the end without any stopping. God knows how I’m not good with discipline. Well, I guess this is a test. Can I make it to the finish line with this challenge? We shall see.
Today’s topic is Make a List. The challenge gave me four lists to choose, and the rebellious side of me is itchy to come out because I don’t like any of them! I’m supposed to pick one between Things I Like, Things I’ve Learned, Things I Wish, and Things I’m Good At. And here’s my pick: Things I’d Like to Learn.
Good enough! Let’s do this. *cracking knuckles*
1. To let go.
Growing up in a household where everyone had a tendency to control things and difficulty to let things happened on their own, I inevitably learned the same style of approaching life. Being a quick learner by observing others, unfortunately I adapted to that thinking style and carried it throughout my childhood and adult life. Only perhaps in the last one year I slowly unlearned that way of thinking…in a hard way. What I mean by hard way is by making a lot of mistakes and then learning from those mistakes. I fell way too many times in my life, but luckily I got up, even with bruises and wound that have never healed completely. This is something that I’m still learning to do. I am seeing an improvement, though. After a while, it’s just exhausting to keep falling down. No more.
2. To love myself.
Another tough one. Also, because throughout childhood I never learned it. Nobody taught me that it was such a necessary one to have. I realize now that this is especially an important skill for women, and therefore it needs to be taught early in life. Young girls need to learn this mindset and concept in order to be able to survive in the world that, let’s admit it, run by men.
3. To love, instead of to have or to own.
This is about loving other people or a special person. I’d like to know how it feels to love a person without not thinking that I own him or that he is mine. I think it’s an incredible kind of love. I know it exists, it can exist, and it takes a lot of understanding, self-growing, big heart to be able to accomplish it. I intend to learn it. And don’t you think that it’s a lot easier too? That to have a love like that is so much lighter, happier? To love without a wish, a want, and perhaps hope. If hope does exist in that kind of love, it is not to be together, but to be just it. To be able to continue to love, to be able to continue to feel the love in my heart and never lose it. I own the feeling, the love, but not the person.
While writing the list above, I realized that I have another list I’d like to declare. And I title it Things that I’d Like to Do More Often:
- To laugh
- To see sunrise
- To see sunset
- To encourage younger people, especially young children, to read more
- To work harder to reach my dream
- To give more
- To have less, including needs, wants, expectations, and even hope. Keep ’em to a minimum, just the basic ones.
- To exercise
- To be adventurous
- To enjoy music and sing along
What a wonderful writing exercise as it turns out. But I think I should stop here. The idea of getting comfortable with making list is a bit too scary.
But I hope you get the message. I guess list is okay, if you use it the right way, which is to get to know yourself more.
Have a joyous journey!