Getting to Know Our Thinking Pattern

Pay attention to the image below and list some words that might come to your mind triggered by the image or that you are projecting onto the image.


Done? Remember, try to list some words before scrolling down.

-̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶


Most people will probably say words such as busy, bustling life, the future, working people, and so on. Some adjectives would probably be energized, inspiring, or even alive(!).

My guess is that most people will list words that are leaning towards the positive side, but I may be wrong.

How many of you wrote lonely or loneliness?

I did.

-̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶

We often think of loneliness as a feeling that comes out when we are alone. A person who lives alone, for example, may be thought of as being lonely because living in such a lone existence. The assumption might perhaps be true, but not always be the case.

An important aspect of loneliness that matters the most is not the low quantity or the zero amount of people we have around us, but the quality we have with those people. Have you ever been in the middle of a crowded union of people in a public place where folks are bustling in and out the building, minding their own business, like the picture above? I have, and in the midst of such environment, I felt it.

A surrounding like the picture above can serve as a trigger, inviting the feeling to slowly resurfacing. How? In my case, the lack of connection I experience to anyone around me in a public place always puzzles me. In a room so crowded where you have to watch your step without bumping into someone or being elbowed by someone, how can I, or anyone, feel so detached? I could disappear in that crowd and no one would notice or care. It seems that the more people in the room, the more unostentatious, hidden, and muted I could become.

Lacking connection or feeling unable to build connection with anyone is the key. Many reasons to explain why a person can lack a feeling of connection to anyone in a crowded environment. It could be a lack of confidence that has prevented a person from striking a conversation, or it could be a lack of warmth and openness from the environment, or both. Either way, something is preventing that person from making a connection.

If we analyze it deeper, sometimes it is a battle in the mind that acts as a barrier. In my case, for example, I felt “less” than the other people in the room. I compared my life to them and focused on what they had that I didn’t have. No wonder it affected my self-esteem, discouraged me, and left me unhappy — it was a perfect thinking formula to trigger loneliness.

Our thinking pattern therefore, is what we need to be paying attention to, which will take a long term practice to master. Onto what road path our thinking is leading us into, is something that we can be mindful of. For more information about learning to control our thinking pattern, I will refer to an article I read today about Struggling with Overthinking, which I find very useful. How to practice controlling overthinking is a topic that perhaps I will touch upon as a separate writing in the future.

The point for now is, every person can learn NOT to be lonely…by getting to know our own mindset and learning to control it.

So, happy learning.


Day 4: A Story in a Single Image, from the Everyday Inspiration Writing Challenge.